What am I suppose to do?

What is a mistake to people? Is it just an accidental thing happen and you bow your head saying sorry than everything will be alright? I don’t know what is really happening to me, but I felt like everything I once know and love is going to go. My personality in loving and caring is fading soon. And here I am thinking when I made a mistake as I walk down the path of my life. Chances are that my studies sucks but I lied to be good, so dad won’t be mad? But every result I have in college changed! I GOT DEAN LIST! But who cares, everyone looks at the mistake someone did more than the good ones. So where is my mistake in this? Why do I have to mend their mistake so no one here will look stupid? Why do I have to feel this stressful feeling with a thousand swords of pressure pouring into me? I no longer know where my mistake lies or which it isn’t even my mistake. So tell me what am I suppose to do? Because so far I know I am reaching my limit in life, I don’t want to turn back into her.