Rain

Grey dark clouds cover the skies, slowly rain drops falls. A cold breeze sweeps the earth, chasing that hot air up into the sky.

Another morning that is cold and comfortable to sleep in. So why am I awake in such early morning? Well… I guess the rain remind me of something in the past. When it always rain, my heart becomes heavy thinking back that all those memories again. The rain had lived with me for many years; I used to remember that every time I was sad and disappointed, I wish for the sky to rain. As it rain, pouring heavily down into the earth surface, I step out from the house, letting myself soak in sadness and rain. Washing all the sadness away from my body, cleaning those darkness I hate in me. but everything it rains, it remind me of those sad days, but also remind me that the rain will always be there to wash my tears away.

Money

How can a king be so rich, while the bagger is so poor? Aren’t we all called human being, den why are people separated into ranks of life? Long ago, before money or gold was found and invented, every human being was the same. There are no ranks or status, yet everyone uses a simple concept to survive, TRADING. When money was introduce, human started to be greedy, everyone wanted to be rich, while those who succeed not only lie in their castle and enjoy, they started to collect from the poor as taxes of land. Greed brought them to lands far away from theirs; stealing and killing what was once reach to the earth surface.
Red Indians was chase out from their land, bring brought to slavery, and even some was rape in other to please the men. Women ranks are lower than men, and causes men to have pride and egos. But even though that time was gone, the present still remains the same. And the conditions are getting worst every time.
“I rather rule the world and destroy it, than seeing it destroy slowly.” Once my friend said this sentence, and I agree with it. I would destroy money and status in order to bring the human ranks that were set long time ago, back to the days where man kind was made as equal.

My Dance

Opening the closet, thinking what should I wear for an outing? Looking through the clothing I have in there, a blue color dress caught my eye. When did I buy this dress? I wonder. I took it out as its long dress touch the floor; I guess this was once belonging to my mother. Knowing my mother won’t be home for a while, I put it on. Such a fine dress why did she put it away like that? Well, I guess I still got time before I am going out. Hmmm... A fine music shall suit it at the same time. Searching the old classical music my dad collects; I played under surrounding stereo in the house. Ah…memories of dances I learn in the pass, step by step I retrace those dance move I’ve learn. Wow, it really brings back memories of those graceful moments in the stage dancing like a princess. I wish to relive those moment on the stage performing, well I guess I stop dancing for a reason. Time to move on, hip hop will be my style!!

20 years old

Do you remember the time when you think everything you done was right? Even when your parents was at the top furious mood and you still rebel and think everything will be just fine? I guess I’ve been through tat stage of life and now changing my point of view in everything. I remember being called the wise one among my friends, cause the years of experience in arguments, love and even fights among siblings and thought me everything I need to know about life. Okay, basically not everything, but I can say most of the things. Seeing people character and personalities, using the right way to gain their attention and stuff, all this had gave me the wisdom beyond my age. But was I notice now is that I was lonely in those years. My parents had this kind of personalities, that when ever my friends come over my house, they don’t seem to be comfortable, seeing their reaction around my friend (especially guys), it make me feel like they weren’t welcome to the house. Another reason for me to not bring my friends home (although my brother doesn’t care). Beside that, outing with friends, I can never attend any gathering or outing. I only can go if my parents followed, come on! I am already in high school at that time! I am old enough to walk alone, yet they never gave a chance. This causes me to lose so many friends, outing they never called me, anything that was going on they never count me in ever again. That loneliness I felt really get’s on my nerves.
But all this time, I never sit down and think what their reason in doing so; all I did was blame them for my loneliness in the world. I believed that no one cared for me, I uses acting to blend into society. But as this year started and I turned 20, I sat down one night in the hall room, thinking about the pass. The foolishness in falling in love, the heart broken days, thinking how stupid I was thinking I couldn’t stand up at that time. The arguments with parents, causing tears and heart ache among the family, the acting smile with friends and parents. I think and think, at that moment I realized; I was just a kid with no brains. I thought I had the wisdom in peace and always hide my feelings away, but the more I think on that day I realized, by doing all those things I was hurting myself inside. Killing the emotions away, and living as an empty shell. After all that thinking, I finally open the cage full of emotion letting them surface up, teas of joys, sadness, anger and more falls from my eyes. How foolish I was locking away all this emotion, but turning 20 thought me many stuff, for now I learn to be matured and also to accept the wrong and right about myself.
Cheers to myself, in new life!

Duty First

There are things I wish I never did, yet every time I wish I never done it repeat again. This heart I am feeling at the moment doesn’t wish to be feeling this way; many times I block this emotion from surfacing. Many times I killed that part of myself, but what can I do? I just hate it when I see it. Seeing them happy together I sit there like a fool having this feeling, but work is work. I got to change what I feel and just be normal like nothing happen, although it hurts like hell. But recently I am losing the confidence I had; controlling these emotions is getting harder and harder. I am so close in reaching that hand but I feel I am so far from it. Wish to chase that shadow and never leave it side, but I got to control it. I can’t show this weak side of me. My duty is more important den this feeling, and tat will be my conclusion. WORK first b4 my feeling.