20 years old

Do you remember the time when you think everything you done was right? Even when your parents was at the top furious mood and you still rebel and think everything will be just fine? I guess I’ve been through tat stage of life and now changing my point of view in everything. I remember being called the wise one among my friends, cause the years of experience in arguments, love and even fights among siblings and thought me everything I need to know about life. Okay, basically not everything, but I can say most of the things. Seeing people character and personalities, using the right way to gain their attention and stuff, all this had gave me the wisdom beyond my age. But was I notice now is that I was lonely in those years. My parents had this kind of personalities, that when ever my friends come over my house, they don’t seem to be comfortable, seeing their reaction around my friend (especially guys), it make me feel like they weren’t welcome to the house. Another reason for me to not bring my friends home (although my brother doesn’t care). Beside that, outing with friends, I can never attend any gathering or outing. I only can go if my parents followed, come on! I am already in high school at that time! I am old enough to walk alone, yet they never gave a chance. This causes me to lose so many friends, outing they never called me, anything that was going on they never count me in ever again. That loneliness I felt really get’s on my nerves.
But all this time, I never sit down and think what their reason in doing so; all I did was blame them for my loneliness in the world. I believed that no one cared for me, I uses acting to blend into society. But as this year started and I turned 20, I sat down one night in the hall room, thinking about the pass. The foolishness in falling in love, the heart broken days, thinking how stupid I was thinking I couldn’t stand up at that time. The arguments with parents, causing tears and heart ache among the family, the acting smile with friends and parents. I think and think, at that moment I realized; I was just a kid with no brains. I thought I had the wisdom in peace and always hide my feelings away, but the more I think on that day I realized, by doing all those things I was hurting myself inside. Killing the emotions away, and living as an empty shell. After all that thinking, I finally open the cage full of emotion letting them surface up, teas of joys, sadness, anger and more falls from my eyes. How foolish I was locking away all this emotion, but turning 20 thought me many stuff, for now I learn to be matured and also to accept the wrong and right about myself.
Cheers to myself, in new life!