Fading

What is the most important thing in a person life? Could it be money? Or a person you love? Many people often focus on their life and forget what is important to them. For me, I lost that important thing in my life, a memory that I always want to remember seem to be slowly disappearing. Now the only thing I remember was the beautiful field. Full of nature, butterfly, rabbits, horses and birds fly freely around that field. The flower blooms, adding an extra sweet smell to the fresh air. And always there was this soft dancing music playing in the piano room, as a lady and her child dances swiftly around the room. It was a perfect scene, how I wish to relive it for one last time. But as time passes by, the wide field started to fade. Their face seems harder to remember. As I dreamed yesterday, an angel standing in front of me, he looks away in pain. Tears roll down from his eyes, slowly his spread his wings and it started to fade. Just like the memories I have, fading slowly. Leaving a small scar behind.

The Light

In the pitch black of darkness
Blue floating lights are seen
They flew slowly across the empty space
Wondering endlessly
They shine and shine
But never open themselves to any
Lonely in their world
They start to create their own fantasy
Soon a light shines from above
All hides away, avoiding it
But one stood there looking up into the light
Her blue flame glows even brighter
She burst into bright red flames
She is finally free
To the light she saw
With the warmth that she felt
Her cold black heart with thorns
Slowly dispelled
Finally she could look at the world
With her own pair of eyes
With the person she trust
Because the light she saw
Was the man of her dream.

Eagle

Living in the city world for too long, causes many affect on me. Many times I look at myself as a city girl, not knowing how to survive beyond the comfort zone. Every single little thing I was protect by my parents. What could I do for my own? That was what I thought. I am already at the age of 20 years old, still living with my parents and at times I still depend on them. My father has this habit of looking at me as if I am still his 3 year old daughter, young and inexperienced. Well, it is good for me because I could have anything I want. But the problem is that I feel I need to be more independent than looking at father for solution in everything.
Years ago I had a habit of always looking up in the sky whenever I sat in the car. No matter is long trip for short distance drive; I will always admire the clouds shapes and sizes naming them after item or animals. I remember one particular time; I saw a small figure bird circling around the sky. I took my camera zooming in to the maximum finding out it was an eagle. Its wings spread out wide gliding through the sky. Eagle is a symbol of strength and independent, they are sharp and fast. After that I took eagle as my symbol of hope in dreams and goals in life. A young eagle will soon have to learn to fly out from the nest and hunt its own food. And I am that eagle now, slowly flapping my wings, wanting to soar through the sky by my own.

Live by Love, die by Love

Long ago, the warriors on earth always have a saying. “We live by the sword, die by the sword.” They fight for their country, leaving no enemy behind, their goal is to kill and take over countries and land. Their brave soul walked the face of earth, walking into war with no fear but all with pride. Well…that is the olden days. But the funny thing about this quote is that it is still apply on human life today in this modern world, in a different category. And it is since under the category of love.

Love is a double edge sword, it can bring u protection and happiness, but at the same time it can bring you sadness and pains. Many people see love as a nuisance, a waste of time and energy. Thinking that love will only bring pain and misfortune to their life, having to endure the misery. Yet some people take love as a blessing, for maybe they are lucky in getting the right ones all the time. But don’t you all think that we live by love? Without love we feel pain, and with love we feel joy. Maybe the phrase need to be changed to “We live by Love, die by Love.” Not all the time, but most of the time. ^^

Missing Him @.@

Long time ago, I cut away my feelings for everyone. I left my feelings to fall in love behind. I know falling in love will cause me to lose focus on the things I need to concentrate on. In order to do that, I cut my ties with friends. Leaving nothing but emptiness in me, but recently I started to miss someone so much. I know I meet him every day, talking to him. Once the moment has past, and I am sitting alone on the bench outside of my house, I started to miss him badly. I thought he is just another friend I am close with. Someone who can understand the real me and accept it. But as time passes by, these feelings I once lock away, far far away into the darkness of my heart is surfacing like no one business. My goal and ego has cover my vision of love, the broken hearted scars and there reminding me the fear of being broken again. I am scared to honestly say, but I am not sure if I should give it a chance. For all I know now I am starting to miss him. Really missing him.

My Moment

Have you face the time when your mind is just blank? Where you want to think for ideas and work, but nothing comes out. Well, in basic life everyone does have this problem, and most of us find our own “Eureka” moments. For me there are ways to clear my mind from all negative thoughts and frustration. But sadly, the way I used to relax my mind, will always get one big hell of a scolding from parents. What else can I say? I just love standing under the rain. I still remember when I was in high school, few of us will run out into the rain and walk into class soaking wet. I just missed does times. But the sound of rain cools my head off, muffling all the sound surrounding me. TADA! I got my Eureka moment! Ideas start popping out of nowhere giving crazy and insane ideas. Well, it doesn’t rain everyday though. So the second way to get ideas is to just stand under the shower for a long period of time. I know I know, it is wasting water. Water bill will increase madly, and dad starts to scold and nag and stuff. But who cares! I just want my moment. I guess water just calms me down when I am mad. Music too but water still is the best. So what is your moment? Because I do know one of my friends moment is when he is in the toilet. HAHA..

Why...

If there is a chance
I would like to have you close to me
If there is a chance
I would want to stand as tall as you
Walk the same road you choose

But those chances are block
With the ego I have
The steps I want to take
Block the way between us
Making both of us chasing a dream

Why was I like this before?
With the feelings being cut off
Why did I set my goal as that?
Making my distance further away from you

How much I reach out my hands to you
Nearly I touch your back
But I never did
So close in having that touch

But that chance is gone
Leaving a mark of scar on me
Taking all the strength to hold myself down
Stopping myself from reaching out to you